When you hit the mid-20’s or early 30’s and had more than one love affair in your past, chances are, when you’re single, you get to think of “who really stood out” among your exes.
It could be that someone whom you had a short-but-life-changing love affair with, a best friend whom you were secretly in-love with, or the one whom you’ve had a (quoting Carrie Bradshaw) “Ridiculous, Inconvenient, Consuming, Cant-live-without-each-other kind of love” with.
I’m so sure that by this time, are already some names and memories running through your head. (Easy there, cowboy! Don’t get too excited.)
Old flames are an off-topic in this extremely optimistic generation. Nowadays, very few would be interested in hearing you rant about an ex. The “ex” topic is now (almost always) associated with negativity, refusal to move on, or being stuck. While a lot will agree, I believe that it depends on the age and perspective.
At this point in my life, I know which relationship was the most ideal. I also know which was least. And I definitely know which really stood out — And yes, it was the ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming. On top of that, it was also frustrating, tiring, ignorant, reckless, passionate, and fulfilling.
We were so different. In college, I was that headstrong, serious and overly-focused clown. He was the type who would either not go to class, or convince others not to go to class. But in some way, we managed to end up being together for 4 years. (Mainly because one of the strongest things we had in common was our inexplicable love for friends and alcohol) I could talk about the experience all day, like most of you. But to sum it up, he bagged a lot of FIRST’s in my biography. It was a strong kind of love. The one every person should experience at one point in their lives.
I’ve learned a lot in that experience. Being the square that I was, I saw how far I could go. I also saw my limits. I also learned that it was possible for one to “grow” with another. (though a lot may contest) But my best takeaway in that experience was: there will always be a person who will prove logic powerless.
I’ve read an article earlier today, about love not being lost. The writer said that love just either stays forever or it never existed at all. I disagree.
That emotion does get lost through time, and it doesn’t mean it never existed. There are, however, emotions that don’t fade. They only get hidden, locked away from the surface.
It’s amazing how much love we can give. This has been a big fascination of mine: How, no matter how bad relationships go, we eventually STILL go out there and take a chance — to do it all over again. One solid truth about being in relationships is the fact that you will always gain something you need (or you will need). It maybe a trait, or a thought, or mindset, but no relationship ever ends without you gaining something important from it. And most of the time, these gains make you even better in relationships or in life itself.
So, how long will we love the “one that stood out”?
I guess, until it fades. Nonetheless, we must be thankful for what we gained in that experience. Don’t fret about ever experiencing that fiery kind of love again, because the relationships we get, at any point in our lives, is the one we need. The ones we need for that specific time frame. “The ones we need” until we’re ready to meet single person. The person who’s the reason we experienced all those past flames for. The greatest catch of all.